


To Become a Tree

by smithy_of_words



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/F, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Meditation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-09-02 04:45:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16779862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smithy_of_words/pseuds/smithy_of_words
Summary: Samara helps Marin Shepard cope with the loss of Earth and Thessia.One-shot.





	To Become a Tree

Liara stared out into the void, clutching at her mug of Earth tea.

It had long since gone cold.

Marin stood awkwardly across the mess, shaking her head and waving off anyone who had tried to come and offer their support.

Now wasn’t the time.

EDI pinged Shepard’s omnitool on a private network.

“Incoming message from Samara. Do you wish to accept?”

Marin spoke quietly in a corner in which she knew EDI hid microphones.

“I’ll go to my cabin, patch her through.”

“Right away, Commander.”

Marin shuffled awkwardly over to Liara, squeezing her hands tightly.

“I just need to have a quick conversation. Do you need anything?”

Liara blinked, as if having woken from a trance. “I--no, Shepard. Thank you. I’ll be...here...”

She resumed staring out the windows.

Shepard just nodded wearily and took the elevator to her cabin, locking the doors behind her with a mechanical hiss.

EDI’s simulated voice echoed in the small space. 

“Patching her through now, Commander. Do you require privacy? I can turn off my recording devices temporarily.”

Marin stood on her tip-toes, dropping flakes of fish food into the tank.

“Thanks, EDI. I’d appreciate that.”

“Very well.”

Only the distant hum of the engine and bubbling from the water circulation device remained. Shepard had long since shucked off her boots, so she made no sound as she walked over to her bed, flopping on it with a slight bounce.

A holographic image appeared, coming into view.

Samara sat against the wall of a nondescript hallway somewhere, the background plain metal with no distinguishing features.

Marin waited for the signal to come into focus.

“Shepard, it is me, Samara. Can you hear me?”

“Loud and clear. Where are you?”

Samara sighed. “On a transport to the Citadel. I was asked to take a second look at the biotic enhancements to their security systems.”

Marin swallowed, hoping Samara couldn’t see the waver in her confidence.

“So you...I mean to say...you’ve heard about Thessia, I assume?”

It was silent for a moment.

“Yes, I...heard the news only recently. I haven’t been to my home world in a great many centuries now, and despite the time and distance, I will admit, it came as a surprise to me.”

“Huh...no offense, but I didn’t think justicars really did things like surprise. You always seem so calm to me.”

Samara’s eyes met Shepard across the distance, and it suddenly seemed as though her long life had finally caught up to her.

“Do not mistake my calm for indifference, Commander. I feel the loss of those millions as if they were my own.”

Shepard nodded. “I felt the same, watching Earth burn. I’ve never felt so helpless in my entire life. There were people, maybe a few hundred meters away, and I couldn’t do a damn thing.”

Silence again.

“Why have you called me, Shepard? Not to imply that your communication is unappreciated. I’ve always enjoyed our talks.”

Marin huffed, half laughing. 

“I just...you always seem to know what to say to make things better--to put it into a new perspective. I was just hoping...Liara’s barely speaking. Seeing her pain is like watching Earth burn again for me, only she’s not some faceless stranger. So...it’s almost worse.”

Samara nodded sagely. “I see. I appreciate the high esteem in which you hold me, but Dr. T’Soni must find new purpose herself.”

Shepard’s shoulders drooped.

“However,” Samara continued, “I can offer to work on some meditation techniques that might help you. And you, in turn, can provide support as her bondmate. Do you agree?”

“I’ve never really been able to sit still for more than a few minutes, but sure,” Marin sighed. “What the hell. I’ll give it a shot. So...how’s this work? I sit cross-legged and close my eyes?”

Samara chuckled. “If you wish. Most find it helpful to keep from distractions, but you may also stare at a wall, or--”

“Fish tank?”

“...that may also do, provided your mind does not wander.”

“Right. So now what?”

“Patience,” Samara chided. “I want you to focus on one spot, and breathe in through your nose. You will then hold this breath, letting it fill your lungs entirely, before exhaling through your mouth. Follow my example.”

Shepard inhaled, trying to focus on the cool recycled air of her cabin.

Her cool, recycled, not burning, not ashy air.

She exhaled all at once, feeling a bit light headed.

“Good, but this time, focus on doing it slowly, consciously. In....pause...and out.”

Shepard nodded. “So...that’s it? This is supposed to help.”

“By the goddess, you are worse than my daughters.” Samara felt herself smile softly despite herself. “I’m not yet finished.”

“Sheesh, sorry.”

“Now, Commander, as you inhale, imagine you are a tree. With each breath, you pull water and nutrients from the soil and air. As you exhale, you produce oxygen and green leaves, shining in the sun. You have purpose. You are a part of something larger.”

She paused a moment. “Go on...”

Shepard started, sucked into the metaphor. “Ah, yes. Right. Tree...”

She closed her eyes this time, trying to imagine her bare feet were touching loamy soil, instead of the woolen blankets. Tried to imagine a cool mist on her face, instead of the slightly dry stagnant air.

She breathed in, water, light, sun...

and exhaled...air, green, goodness...

She cycled through the exercise a few times until she felt her heart hammer a bit less in her chest--felt her breaths become less shallow.

Samara smiled softly. “There. Do you feel more at peace, Shepard?”

Marin opened her eyes. “Yes, I...that really helped. Thank you, Samara. I appreciate it.”

“Of course. It is an honor. I will arrive soon, so I must prepare. And, for what it’s worth, I am sorry about Earth, Commander, and Dr. T’Soni’s loss too.”

Marin felt her eyes begin to water.

_Just the light from the tank._

“and I’m sorry for your loss, Samara. I’ll be stopping by the Citadel in a few days. I look forward to speaking with you then, if I might.”

“I look forward to our next meeting, then. Be well, Shepard.”

“And you.”

The call ended, and Shepard was left alone in the dark again.

She inhaled sharply when a small knock was at the door.

“Shepard. It’s me. Could you open the door?”

It was Liara’s voice.

“Coming.” Shepard padded over to the doors and manually unlocked them.

Liara stood against the wall opposite, eyes looking without seeing.

Shepard pulled her into her arms silently, and held her tightly.

“Come on in. I just got off the phone with an old friend.”

“Oh?” Liara asked wearily.

“Yep. Even worked on some meditation with me...”

Liara huffed softly, rubbing her eyes. “Ah, _that_ old friend. You won’t try to become a justicar now, will you?”

Marin led her over to her bed, patting the covers beside her.

“Ha, yes, with all the free time being a Spectre affords me. I’ll save lost kittens, too.”

Liara sighed, leaning her head on Shepard’s shoulder.

“You’re too good.”

Marin took her hands and kissed the back of each.

“Only because I have help. Want to take a nap and try to become a tree?”

Liara’s eyes narrowed. “Is this some...strange human idiom?”

Shepard wrapped them both in her favorite Blasto knit blanket.

“Surprisingly, no. I’ll tell you later, but now,” she kissed Liara’s forehead. “We rest. Think you can try?”

“If you’re here.”

Marin tightened her grip around her shoulders. 

“I’m not going anywhere.”

**Author's Note:**

> Un-beta'd, so please let me know if you catch any errors I missed, or have any constructive criticism.  
> This is actually based on a meditation technique that I learned when dealing with anxiety and a sense of depersonalization. I hope it helps you too, if you need it. : )


End file.
